It's not Funny, it's my Sandwich

"BEWARE

One of your coworkers is a thief and so completely lazy that they stole my sandwich.  They stole a HOMEMADE sandwich.  Who steals food in the first place? And honestly, who steals a non-packaged product? Do you really want something someone else handled?

From now on, I suggest everyone sneezes on and profusely licks their food prior to bringing it to work.

I know I will.

Karma will find you."

Pretty much all of us will exhibit some form of passive-aggressive behaviour in our lives: it's defined as a "passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following authoritative instructions in interpersonal or occupational situations. It's the kid who gets dressed so slowly for school so that he misses the bus; the co-worker who spends more time fabricating excuses for not working than the job would have taken in the first place; or the partner who sets themselves up as the innocent victim of your excessive demands and constantly plays the martyr. It might even show itself in the form of the little sandwich note above.


Passive-aggressive behaviour becomes a problem (especially for other people) when it becomes the standard way to deal with all aspects of an individual’s life. The reality of the passive-aggressive (PA) personality is that, unless you react exactly how they demand, they will deem you hostile and you'll be cast into the role of antagonist. If you want a mind-boggling example from the dating world - have a listen to this answering machine message from some guy named Dimitri who's just gotten a phone-number from a woman in the street ... (Seriously…take the time, it's particularly special). However, the true passive-aggressive only really starts to hit their stride when it comes to the masterful art of leaving snide notes. There is a huge collection of such notes, usually photographed in situ, on http://www.passiveaggresivenotes.com/, a website dedicated to the art of passive-aggressive behaviour.

In the interests of complete transparency, I will reluctantly admit that, way back in the mists of time, I once left a snide note on the windscreen of a car whose owner had so successfully parked his car in the world’s smallest space next to mine that it needed about 20 forward/reverse manoeuvres to extricate myself. My note was less than eloquent and used terms such as “Why don’t I bring a can opener next time”. I’m not proud of it, but the incident did make me think carefully of other’s reactions in the future when I started to park in tight spots in the city.

So why am I raising passive-aggressive behaviour? Well, let’s take a look again at the definition: “passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following authoritative instructions in interpersonal or occupational situations.” The emboldened emphasis is mine (obviously!). It is a common behaviour seen when organisations are undergoing change. As members of HR, we have a choice. Provide a balanced, reasoned view to staff and leaders alike of the journey on which the business is embarked ensuring behaviours are managed appropriately or allow passive-aggressive behaviours to proliferate. HR has a key role to play in ensuring the success of any transition and, when it comes to behaviours, we can both set and maintain the example.

All the best,

Jim

Talk like a Pirate

"To err is human, to arr is pirate".  I read that phrase quite a while ago now and it still tickles me whenever I think of it, or better still try and say it.  Go on.  Try it.  I bet you can't say it out loud without putting on a pirate accent when you say the "arr" word. 

So there I was this weekend, thinking about this phrase, and quietly laughing to myself, when it came to me in a blinding flash.  Every year, there should be one day when everyone in the company has to talk like a pirate as part of maintaining employee morale. 

Imagine the possibilities...

Scene: Boardroom, Start of Leadership Team meeting

CEO:  "Avast there, me hearties, gather round and tell me true your tales of derring do.  Mate of the Sales Watch, how be t' sales booty?

Head of Sales: "Arr, Skipper.  T'is a long tale and a good one, and one ye'll hear the depth of it from t' business heads, soon enough.  We sold 'em good and we sold 'em proper.  The booty's in t' bank."

CEO: "Well done, ye horn swagglin swabbie!"

Leadership Team: Chorus of "Arr"s.

Anyway, in the interests of authenticity of language and phrase, I quickly turned to Professor Google and instead found more truth to the phrase that "there is nothing new under the sun".  Guess what?  There already is an International Talk like a Pirate Day! 

Apparently, on 6 June 1995, John Baur and Mark Summers came up with the idea over a game of racquetball – they were not playing very well. For one reason or another, their calls of friendly encouragement to each other quickly turned into pirate slang and whoever let out the first “Arrr!” started something. One thing led to another. “That be a fine cannonade,” one said, to be followed by “Now watch as I fire a broadside straight into your yardarm!” and other such helpful phrases.

After their hour on court was over, they realized that lapsing into pirate lingo had made the game more fun and the time pass more quickly. They decided then and there that what the world really needed was a new national holiday, Talk Like A Pirate Day. From that point on for the next seven years the two celebrated Talk Like a Pirate Day pretty much on their own with a few friends. This particular day of pirate slang, however, might have remained virtually unknown if it had not been for one happy accident. One day in early 2002, John Baur chanced upon Dave Barry’s e-mail address. Dave Barry is a syndicated columnist, Pulitzer Prize winning author, and humorist.

After contacting him, John Baur and Mark Summers assumed a famous guy like Dave Barry would have more important things to do than read the e-mail of a couple of goofy guys with a hare-brained idea. It turns out, it was perfect material for his column and the idea exploded. Chat rooms all over the Web have been deluged with “Arrs” and “me hearties” and such. Radio stations were abuzz with the story. They had tapped into something big, much bigger than anyone had ever anticipated: the world was finally introduced to Talk Like A Pirate Day.

So What’s The Point?

The point is, there is no point: and that is what’s fun about Talk Like a Pirate Day specifically, and talking like a pirate in general. It gives your conversation a swagger, an elán, denied to landlocked lubbers and the like. The silliness is the holiday’s best selling point and embraces the mere image of swaggering pirateness. So when 19th September 2011 rolls around and suddenly tens of thousands of people are saying “arrr” and “Weigh anchor or I’ll keelhaul the lot of you”, join in. Who knows, you might enjoy it.

And what does this have to with HR?

Not a lot, other than it is important to try and have fun at work.  After all, you will spend the greater portion of your life at work.  What harm could it be to indulge in a little silliness now and again so long as it doesn't hurt anyone?

All the best

Jim

Go Placidly

I have been running a lot of different change events within the company over the last few months, as well as helping staff and leaders understand how they can thrive through change.  One of the key learnings for anyone coping with change is the need for resilience.  Resilience can be defined as "recovering readily from adversity, depression, or the like" and there are many different ways to help people understand how to become more resilient in the face of change.  I was browsing through the web this morning and came upon a blog which had a poem by Max Ehrman that seemed to capture resilience entirely.  You will probably have read it at some stage.  It's called Desiderata.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

All the best

Jim